Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Bite Me--Zombie Apocalypse Web Series
Tuesday, 28 February 2012
Avengers Poster Revealed
Saturday, 25 February 2012
NoHo Noir: It's Not Just a Job, It's an Adventure
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| Illustration by Mark Satchwill |
It's Not Just a Job, It's an Adventure
Written by Katherine Tomlinson
Illustrated by Mark Satchwill
The job fair had only been open for an hour and Lindy McAuliffe was already ready to gnaw her own arm off to escape. It wasn’t just that the only people who were coming up to her table were pimply faced boys who were working as mall security guards and got hard at the thought of carrying a gun, it was just that the whole scene depressed her.
Her table was set up in the middle of a large-sized community room at a senior center that was jammed with job-seekers. The air was thick with the reek of desperation.
The woman at the table on her left was promoting a continuing education program at L.A. Valley College, the table on her right was manned by an executive from a fast-food franchise who told her that his sector of the service industry was booming.
She wasn’t surprised.
She wasn’t even surprised to see people in suits—and not just cheap suits—lining up to sign his clipboard and take his card.
She kept reading that the country’s economy was getting better, but if it was, the people in this room hadn’t gotten the memo.
She sighed as she saw a middle-aged man making his way toward her table.
“How you doing young lady?” he asked.
“Good morning sir,” she replied, emphasizing the “sir” slightly.
He smiled a little at that, as if he got the subtle dig at his age and appreciated it.
“Oh, I’m not here to sign up to be a peace officer,” he assured her. “Even if I were younger, I don’t think I have the right temperament.”
She smiled noncommittally, hoping the guy would move along to bother someone else.
“Do you enjoy your job?” he asked her.
“Yes sir I do.”
He nodded his head as if that confirmed some conclusion he’d already processed.
“You find it fulfilling then?”
“It’s very rewarding sir.”
He nodded again. “You like working with the public? Interacting with the citizens?”
“Yes,” she said, “I do.”
Except when people waste my time with stupid questions, she thought.
“Well, that’s good,” he said. “It’s good to have a job you like.”
Lindy smiled at him again, hoping it didn’t look strained.
Go away.
As if he could read her mind, the guy gave her a jaunty two-fingered salute.
“You have a good day Officer McAuliffe,”
“You too sir,” she said.
Monday, 20 February 2012
the Exorcist comes to Los Angeles
Sunday, 19 February 2012
NoHo Noir: Shattered Glass
SHATTERED GLASS
by Katherine Tomlinson
Illustrated by Mark Satchwill
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| Illustration by Mark Satchwill |
Barbara Dinwiddy hadn’t really wanted to install a snack machine in the motel’s office. The soda machine outside was trouble enough with the homeless people vandalizing it in hopes of scrounging change and her guests pounding on it in hopes of getting free drinks.
It still amazed her that people would pay more than a dollar for a cold soda rather than just buy a six-pack and chill it in their refrigerators but then, she’d scoffed at the notion of bottled ice tea when it first came out and now she routinely bought big cartons of Snapple at Costco.
And if she kept sweets and snacks in the house, she’d buy them in bulk too.
Barbara hated low-nutrition snacks with the zeal of a reformed junk food junkie and it drove her crazy watching her guests waste their hard-earned money on sugar- and salt-laden crap.
She’d stopped putting out lollipops on her desk when she realized her long-term guests were pilfering them and feeding them to their kids for breakfast.
It wasn’t that she wanted the kids to go hungry but she disapproved of jacking them up on sugar before unleashing them on their unsuspecting teachers.
Now, with a vending machine that dispensed candy bars and peanut butter crackers and such, Barbara felt like a pusher and the worst kind of hypocrite.
At first she’d told the vending machine salesman to stock energy bars along with the other stuff, but after a month, she’d had to admit that no one was buying them and told him to add M&Ms to the mix instead.
“Good choice,” he’d told her. “They’re the number one selling candy in the world.”
The vending machine salesman, whose name was Jim, had promised that she’d make a nice little income stream from her commission on snack and candy sales and he’d been right.
She got 13 percent of the proceeds and that added up to enough to pay a few bills every month. Not a big bill like the electricity, but it covered her car insurance and her post office box and the occasional take-out meal from Thai BBQ.
So the snack machine stayed.
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Feast of Love
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| Illustration by Mark Satchwill |
By Katherine Tomlinson
When the publicist had called to book the Valentine’s Night party, Carrie had had to move a few things around, but hadn’t hesitated to accept the gig. The party was part of a promotion for the new romantic comedy hit Insignificant Other, and the two stars had just been outed as a real-life couple, so there was sure to be wall-to-wall media coverage of the event.
Carrie loved working with studio publicists because they didn’t nickel and dime her, True, they’d scaled back somewhat in the last 18 months but when they decided to splash out, they did it right. They didn’t give her two dollars a head and expect new potatoes topped with cream fraiche and caviar.
The publicist, who’d worked with Carrie before, had known exactly what she wanted. Appetizers and dessert, no main meal. That meant no chafing dishes, which was good because Carrie’s partner Lisa had called in sick with the flu and Carrie would be running the event herself. Appetizers and dessert she could handle alone.
“Substantial appetizers,” the client had specified, “at least half of them vegetarian, with two vegan options.”
“No problem,” Carrie had said without rolling her eyes and making a note to see if Jamie and her temp crew of wait-staff were available.
Jamie had the best looking model slash waiters in town and her company did a lot of business supplying wait-staff for celebrity events.
Sunday, 12 February 2012
Reality is a Crutch
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| Illustration by Mark Satchwill |
Reality is a Crutch
By Katherine Tomlinson
Hugo was not happy with Mercador the Timeless. The wizard couldn’t seem to grasp the rules of the world; didn’t seem to care that science trumped magic in all but a few special cases. He kept interrupting the flow of the game by launching random blasts of magic at the non-playing characters, which was disrespectful and distracting.
But worse, he was annoying the regular park goers.
Hugo’s group met every weekend but they varied their venues so as not to wear out their welcome. This weekend they were at the parkon the corner of Laurel Canyon and Moorpark, staying to the eastern side, well away from the picnic benches and the people practicing their Tai Chi.
But Mercador couldn’t seem to keep inside the lines and was running around the park like a toddler on a sugar rush.
“This guy sucks,” Riff the Walker said, which told Hugo just how upset the other player was. Inside the game, Cyrus always stayed in character, down to the last exclamation of surprise. (“Oh ho” was his favorite, mostly because it was a verbal palindrome. Cyrus was a geek that way.)
“He came with recommendations,” Hugo said, thinking that the first thing he’d do when he got home was talk to Wynton of the House Dumbarton, who had vouched for the new guy when he first approached Hugo in school about joining his LARP.
Mercador’s real name was Preston and he was fond of telling people it was a fine old Southern name, as if they hadn’t noticed his accent, or as if—in a city of residents who were all born somewhere else—they’d actually care.
Wynton ran one of the most famous LARPS on the east coast, so it had surprised Hugo that Preston was such a freak.
Not that Hugo was a judgmental guy.
Saturday, 4 February 2012
Next NoHo Noir Story--Reality is a Crutch
"Reality is a Crutch" will be posted this coming Wednesday (2/8). As of next Sunday (2/12), we'll be back on our regular Sunday schedule. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Blatant Self-Promotion! NoHo's Mark Satchwill
Over at Joanne Renaud's blog, artist Mark Satchwill is artist of the month. View his interview here.
Check out Mark's submission for the Sketchbook Project 2012 here. It's a witty, intimate romp through his own personal timeline.
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